Sensory Meltdown: The 4 Stages

Living with a neurodivergent child (or adult) comes with its set of challenges. Meltdowns are among the most common and not-always-easy things to deal with. Perhaps understanding a bit more of how a sensory meltdown happens can help. 

A sensory meltdown usually happens as a result of overstimulation. People with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) can be among those most sensitive to sensory input, and therefore the most prone to being dysregulated from too much of it. (And, SPD can be a co-occurring condition for many other neurodivergent conditions, including Autism and ADHD.)

Sensory processing differences are not the person’s fault 

First, let’s establish one thing: hypersensitivity to sensory stimuli is not under a person’s control. Each of us have unique brain wirings, with some of us more sensitive to input than others. Many neurodivergent individuals have varying degrees of sensory sensitivity, making them more prone to these meltdowns. 

It’s crucial to understand that if you are neurotypical, you may not automatically pick up on what annoys your neurodivergent loved on. So it’s important to have open conversations—before a meltdown happens—about what kinds of things grate on his or her nerves. It’s not about their being too nitpicky; these things just naturally cause them real discomfort. 

What are the stages of a sensory meltdown? 

Understanding how a meltdown happens actually means we just MAY prevent them. We say “may” because it’s not always possible! But at least, knowing some of the triggers may give us the chance to help the neurodivergent person in our care, either by removing the offensive stimuli, or understanding their need to move elsewhere. 

A disclaimer is in place: not all meltdowns go through these stages. Some of them build up slowly, while others may suddenly go over the top seemingly without warning. In this post we try to show you one possible route: 

1. Little sensory triggers piling up 

These little triggers can be little annoyances that a neurotypical person may not even notice. For example, music coming from the neighbors’, a barking dog, bright overhead lights. It may also be a trigger that happens hours before the actual meltdown, such as a disturbed nap because of a sudden noise. 

At this stage, the child may start to have trouble paying attention to work. He may also begin to act agitated. 

The good thing is that when your child is still in this stage of just beginning to be dysregulated, you can still take actions to help him get back to regulated territory. 

It may be through removing the offensive stimuli or the child himself going to a quiet corner to relax. It may be through using equipment to reduce exposure to the stimuli, such as using noise-canceling headphones or sunglasses. 

2. The build-up of sensory discomfort

If you miss the first phase, the triggers will continue to build up the dysregulation. Perhaps, in addition to noise that he can’t avoid, there’s added discomfort from social interactions, or from hunger or thirst. This leads to a higher level of dysregulation. 

Usually, you may notice an increase in frustration, or the start of angry words or responses. But, again, before the full meltdown happens, it’s still possible to help him back to regulation. 

It’s important to notice his emotions so that you can help him take a break. Check if he needs any added accommodation. Help him take deep breaths, or rest in some quiet area.

3. The explosion: sensory meltdown full-throttle!

If the build-up is ignored, any proverbial straw can then break the camel’s back, and then you’ll probably be surprised at the full-on meltdown. By this time, your child will be on fight-flight-freeze mode and it will almost always be impossible to have a logical conversation. 

Yes, it’s difficult when our loved ones go into a meltdown. Most of the time, we feel like we can’t reach them during this phase. Just remember to offer support and unconditional love. 

4. The long road to regulation 

When the meltdown passes, that’s the time for any conversation that can help you understand them better. But, here’s a caveat: The same brain wiring that makes neurodivergent persons more prone to meltdowns makes it difficult for them to calm back down. (We explain this in a bit more detail in our post, Parenting a Neurodivergent Child.)

Knowing this will help equip you to wait patiently. Then, when your loved one is more relaxed, you can talk about what things help him or her recover more. Does a deep-pressure hug help? Will he usually need a drink of water? Will food be beneficial? 

Usually, these things are helpful; your occupational therapist will also likely give you specific recommendations. If possible, talk it over with the neurodivergent person in your life, because everyone still has different ways of dealing with their meltdowns. If talking is not possible, make careful observations as you try one thing and then another.

Helping In a Sensory Meltdown

Sensory meltdowns are not always easy to maneuver. But knowing some of the basics of why they happen might help you avert some of them. 

And when they do occur, make sure you do what helps the specific person in your care. Remember, it’s not your fault, and it’s not their fault, either. But you’re placed together for a reason, and if your support can help him or her thrive in the long run, it will all be worth it.