In light of more accessible information in recent years, more adults are looking into the possibility of exploring an autism diagnosis. Some people wonder if the statistics are accurate, while others are wondering why many adults were not diagnosed as children.
One of the main reasons why many adults now were not diagnosed as children is that autism occurs on a spectrum, and those who were able to function well might not have shown any signs alerted their caretakers. But another reason is that autism has been found to manifest in an even wider range, particularly in the case of women and girls.
Book Review of Women and Girls on the Autism Spectrum
The book Women and Girls on the Autism Spectrum by Sarah Hendrickx explores the possible nuances that show up in autistic women and girls, compared to their male counterparts. In this post, we hope to give you a glimpse of some of the main points in the book.
1. Autism symptoms among women may not be the same in autistic men.
I first came across the book when researching the different symptoms of autism in adults. The premise immediately caught my interest, especially since I resonated with many symptoms that have been found to be common among autistic women and not among autistic men.
For example, autism is usually defined by the lack of eye contact and other social struggles. Based on her research, the lack of eye contact is more prevalent among autistic men, while autistic women may have reached a level in their masking where they are able to have eye contact because they know it’s expected of them. This masking also means that many autistic women are able to camouflage their differences.
2. It’s important to look for clinicians with the updated information.
The first chapters included a lot of important explanation about how research into this area of autism is fairly recent. As such, adult women seeking accurate diagnosis need to find clinicians who are updated with these findings, or else their symptoms may not match whatever is in the diagnosis guidelines.
3. Be wise about sharing a diagnosis with others.
In addition to offering advice about whether or not to seek a professional diagnosis, the book also gives helpful tips on how to share a diagnosis with friends and family. I liked at least two things in this section:
- First, it reminds the reader that we all also most likely went through a phase of not believing we could be autistic; this way, we can be more compassionate towards the way that our family and friends may react to our news; and
- Second, it suggests sharing the news in such a way that we share our feelings about it first, because this will affect how the other person will receive the information. For example, if we tell them straight out that we are actually happy that we’re now able to make sense of a lot of things, it will set a positive tone for future conversations with that person.
4. Therapy may or may not work.
The book also included some kind of disclaimer about therapy—which answered one of my questions about whether I needed to go to therapy. The author explained that not all therapists know about female autism so it may or may not be helpful, depending on how neurodiversity-affirming the therapist is. Those who are not might end up suggesting things that would force the autistic person to mask instead of embracing her differences.
5. Different challenges come up in different stages of life, shown through real-life examples.
I love how the book is laid out to take a deep dive into the experience of women and girls in the autism spectrum across different life stages. It starts off describing their experiences in childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood, with plenty of real-life examples written by the research subjects themselves. Readers will likely resonate with some—if not all of—these testimonies, and find that they are not alone in this journey.
For me, I especially resonated with the challenge of autistic girls in forming healthy friendships. The author points out a common tendency among autistic girls to yearn for an exclusive one-on-one friendship that may be seen as weird among non-autistic individuals. In terms of relationships, she also found a tendency for being obsessive, which can be misconstrued by non-autistic people.
6. Self-awareness is important.
The last chapter dealt with the importance of knowing what refreshes or drains you. It gives practical examples of identifying triggers and being proactive at making sure we don’t operate on a deficit.
I liked how the author encourages us to be aware of ourselves so that we can plan ahead. For example, if the day is full of activities that would end up draining us and possibly causing a meltdown, we can try to find ways to cut back on such activities by learning to prioritize. One concrete example she shared was her own experience about the challenge of finding meals whenever she was traveling. She was able to simplify this task by bringing ingredients that she could easily cook in any hotel hot kettle!
The Verdict: Women and Girls on the Autism Spectrum is An Insightful Read
Overall, I found the book Women and Girls on the Autism Spectrum a very informative, insightful, and helpful read. I would highly recommend this for women and girls who suspect they are autistic.
Additionally, I would also highly recommend the family and friends of women and girls who are diagnosed or are suspected to be autistic to read this book, in order to understand these women and girls better.