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Note that this is not a paid review. This is a personal reflection on my own experience after the purchase of the book being reviewed.
During my personal journey into embracing my own neudorivergence, one of the most helpful resources I came across was the book Self-Care for Autistic People by Dr. Megan Anna Neff. So it’s with the greatest pleasure that I write this book review—or, book recommendation, if you will.
Dr. Megan Anna Neff: Author of Self-Care for Autistic People
First, let’s take a look at who the author is. Dr. Megan Anna Neff is a neurodivergent psychologist who founded the website NeurodivergentInsights.com. Apparently, her influence began with an accidental foray into Instagram content creation. Since then she and her team have worked extensively at making the website as helpful as possible.
Self-Care for Autistic People: Main Sections
Self-Care for Autistic People caught my attention from the title on the back cover: Take Care of Your Incredible Mind. From the get-go, that neuroaffirming language was like a breath of fresh air; instead of looking at our neuro-wiring as something that needs to be tolerated, here is someone who’s giving language to the beauty of being wired this way.
I actually browsed through the entire book at our local bookstore that first time that I saw it, without taking the plunge yet to buy it. I saw that it was very detailed, but I thought I could pretty much just wing it by checking out different websites, Instagram tidbits, and all that. A couple of weeks later, I decided that it would be worth a shot. And I’m so glad I did.
Don’t be fooled. It’s not just six chapters—each “chapter” or section actually includes plenty of sub-topics, all neatly organized into easily-readable two-page spreads. This also makes it easy to find a specific topic that you want to go into without needing to wade through pages to find what you need.
In a nutshell, here are the major sections in the book:
Chapter 1: Cultivating Sensory Safety
This forms the basic premise of the entire book. As autistic individuals, being aware of our sensory processing needs forms the foundation of all our stress management strategies. I love how Dr. Neff emphasizes this from the very start. Since then, I’ve learned to understand my own sensory needs, such as using earplugs in most city environments, and finding ways to wind down in quiet and dim lighting in order to regulate myself.
Chapter 2: Physical Self-Care
In this section, Dr. Neff talks about three main topics: our movement and regulation, sleep, and body care and hygiene. I found plenty of helpful practical tips in this section for managing stress—which happens at a level that neurotypical individuals do not typically struggle with! She has suggestions for how to loosen muscle tension, and I was happy to find that these actually worked for me!
In the section about body care and hygiene, she also offers practical advice especially for autistic individuals who may struggle with food challenges and executive functioning.
Chapter 3: Emotional Self-Care
In the section on emotional self-care, she starts with the topic of autistic burnout. I was surprised to find that she described my recent experience to a tee. But the good thing is that the chapter includes plenty of practical tips to prioritize rest in order to avoid future burnout.
I especially benefited from the subtopic about dropping unnecessary demands and clearing emotional clutter by doing a brain dump. For me, this worked by committing to journal at least once a day, either early morning, or even at night before heading to sleep if I have a lot of stuff clamoring for attention in my mind.
The book also helped me recognize my tendency towards hyper-empathy, or the tendency to be affected by the mood of people around me. This is a major stressor that I’m still, at the present time, learning to manage.
Personally, I find myself re-reading this section of the book the most, because it also helped me identify a lot of my own meltdown triggers and habitual, unhealthy thought patterns. I was surprised to find that a lot of these thought patterns I have are actually common among autistic individuals, and it helped me to “remove” myself from them and see them as separate entities from myself. This has helped to stop me from blaming myself for these thoughts—something that I’ve been used to doing because of my own experience of being the odd one out.
Chapter 4: Mental Self-Care
In this section, Dr. Neff talks about celebrating our neurodivergent identity. She tackles topics like autistic special interests and advocating for yourself. I never knew I had my own special interests until these recent studies into neurodivergence, and it turns out that I do have the tendency to deep-dive into topics that catch my fancy at any one time. She also goes into a quick rundown of the pros and cons of getting a formal diagnosis.
Another part in this chapter that was very healing for me was being able to reframe childhood experiences through the lens of autism. So many of the hurtful experiences in my own childhood suddenly made sense, and I was able to forgive and let go of them.
Chapter 5: Social Self-Care
This is another very helpful section for me, because it helped explain the way that I connect with people. She even explained a different set of love languages for autistic people, which includes feeling loved and/or expressing love through info dumping and parallel play.
I never knew that neurodivergent individuals tended to connect in a way that was different from neurotypicals, like her description of interpreting intellectual connection as emotional connection. In a way, it explained a lot of my own experiences throughout adolescent and well into adulthood. It also helped me make sense of a lot of the autistic social struggles in my relationships with other people.
Chapter 6: Professional Self-Care
In this section, Dr. Neff shares practical tips for autistic individuals in the workplace. I’m an entrepreneur and freelance content creator; I’ve not been in a typical work environment for more than a decade, so I didn’t really use much from this section. But some of the tips relating to our perfectionism and tendency to hyperfocus were still helpful.
Self-Care for Autistic People: Highly Recommended
Personally, Self-Care for Autistic People has been a tremendous blessing for me and my family. I’ve found myself reading aloud whole sections of the book to my husband, and copying entire passages into my journal to remind myself to celebrate my incredible mind.
If you’re a late-diagnosed or suspected autistic adult, I hope this can be helpful to you too.